Valuing The Child Unconditionally

When the adult is able to value the child, this opens the possibility for understanding that child as a person in his own right, and for the child, a vast potential for learning as he gains a sense of self-value that becomes the background of his entire life.

• The KPM teacher always encourages the child without condition so that the child feels she cannot fail. This does not mean that the teacher will agree that 2 + 2 = 5! But it does mean that the child is secure that if she expresses 2 + 2 = 5 or any other incorrect point, that she will still be valued by the teacher and helped towards the correct response. The child's decisions on where to go in the school, which teachers and children to be with, what to do, when to do it and how to do it, are valued. This gives the child the confidence to take risks and explore many different avenues of learning. A person who knows her own worth brings not only a willingness to risk, but enthusiasm, openness, flexibility and initiative to whatever she does.

• In a conflict situation, the KPM teacher values each child. The teacher looks to the feelings of the hurt child, which are fear and pain, and helps the child be happy again, without resentment. The teacher also looks to the feelings of the aggressor, which may be anger, revenge or frustration. Punishing the aggressor without helping him will only cement the negative feelings to the character of the child. These feelings must also be acknowledged and soothed. If the aggressor is rejected at this point, he will learn that he is a failure and that no one cares about the hurt or pain that he tried to express.

• When the child is valued, a relationship of trust develops between teacher and child. This basic trust is not founded on, "You should listen to me; I know what is good for you," but on, "I hear what you're saying; I know and understand you." Though the teacher does have a sense of what is good for the child, guidance always starts from the acknowledgement, recognition, and valuing of that individual child, starting from wherever she actually is.

A person who knows his own worth can be compassionate and considerate of others, and he can respect individual differences and develop religious and ethnic tolerance. It is the child's self-worth that provides the foundation for learning in school and in his later life. Click here for KPM teacher interviews on valuing the child.